Pig Cooties could land us in FEMA Camps! Also!

Concern is in the air [via WTOP]:

“The powers that are given to governors and often to the chief executives of localities are truly extraordinary,” says Michael Greenberger, founder and director of the Center for Health and Homeland Security at the University of Maryland. “They virtually can constitute martial law.”

OMG! There must be an outbreak of a very deadly, highly contagious and easily transmissible disease if a professor is taking time out of his busy schedule to talk about the governor’s Break Glass in the Event of an Emergency, and it Sure as Fuck Better be a REAL Emergency, Bitch, powers.  Shit, and here’s me without 50,000 yards of duct tape. At least I haz a bukkit to catch my vital organs when they start to drip out of my nose. Oh. Wait …

[The governor] can quarantine, he can isolate, he can seize medications, of course he would have to after the fact pay for them,” Greenberger says. In addition, “[The governor] can martial [sic, the word you want is m-a-r-s-h-a-l-l, look it up -ed.] the entire police power of the state to help him in the enforcement of these measures.”

Greenberger spoke at the National Press Club this week during a discussion titled “Swine Flu: A Danger to Your Rights as Well as Your Health?”

Please. O’Malley isn’t going to send the N.G. out to jab us with needles and seal us in our homes over a disease that is less deadly than the regular flu and you know it. I sentence you to five hours of reading birfer websites.

Don’t whine or you’ll get six  hours listening to speeches by Michele Bachmann.

The date is October 31, 2009

Why aren’t you listening to this?

Or this.

Also.

And of course.*

Ohrwurm Attack!

So I’m at work and I go outside for a smoke. For no reason whatsoever, the chorus to a song I haven’t heard in 15 years (at least) latched on to my frontal lobes and would not let go.

Why?*

When I die, I’m going to ask God or Buddha or the FSM or whoever what the fuck is up with earworms† because they seem to serve no purpose whatsoever other than to drive up traffic at YouTube and Pandora.

Here’s one urban myth about them [via Kellaris' website]:

Some people believe that earworms are a manifestation of one’s subconscious attempting to send a message, or perhaps even the voice of God “trying to tell us something.”

Lessee. Switchin’ to Glide … uh … Switch to Astroglide?

Okeydokey.

Some articles will never be considered for a Pulitzer

This is one of them. And it’s a damn shame (via The Washington Post):

Spray no match for snake
GAITHERSBURG, Streamside Dr., 18300 block, Oct. 7. A homeowner discovered a large black snake in an apartment and sprayed it with bug spray to encourage it to leave. It didn’t. A Humane Society agent could not find the reptile, which had slithered away. Before the agent left, the resident was informed that bug spray is not an effective deterrent and could harm a snake.

Obaministration initiates Protocols of the Elders of GLBT; Everyone really doomed this time. I mean it.

This is not a good week for our insect bothering friends. Obama’s dastardly plan to make throwing rocks at a gay couple a federal hate crime (which is totally not fair, look you made Tony cry) proceeds apace. At the same time the Department of Health & Human Services is unleashing a plot to send your grandparents to Death Camp and replace them with people who are old and gay! It’s TRUE (via the HHS Website):

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius today announced plans to establish the nation’s first national resource center to assist communities across the country in their efforts to provide services and supports for older lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals.

Experts estimate that as many as 1.5 to 4 million LGBT individuals are age 60 and older.[That sound you just heard was caused by fReichtards keeling over at the thought of 4 million Barney Franks roaming the world, talking smack and taking no prisoners].

Here’s the thing. The amount of money Sebelius wants to set aside, not has, but wants to if she can get it, amounts to diddly/squat ($250,000). It’s the equivalent of a Hallmark card from the .99 bin.  It is a nice gesture. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But once the moth rapists stop screaming about the mean old nasty anti-hate crimes bill (because people who pass anti-hate crime legislation are the real haters), they’ll start up about this. You know the drill: Impassioned gibbering and shrieking against taking care of old people. Warnings that this poses a dire threat to the three C’s: Christianity, Children & Civilization.

Followed by yet another jackass getting caught with his hands down someone’s pants or a “device” down his wetsuit.

Popcorn?

[xp Rumproast]