Category Archives: Church of the Poisoned Mind

The First Bullet

The Marriage Vow created by The FAMiLY LEADER has been getting a lot of attention, especially since presidential dopefuls Bachmann, Santorum &  Pawlenty signed the thing.

It is about what you’d expect from an organization of that name.

That is, a disjointed collection of squawking points about the perils of consensual sex that reads like it was written by a schizophrenic who has been flushing his meds down the toilet.

Yesterday Mrs. Polly of Rumproast pulled this quote from the wreckage. Mind you, it is the very first bullet of their Vow:

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.

Amazing innit? The way they manage to cram so many racist lies into such a tiny space. But upon re-reading it this morning, the first phrase of the first bullet point deserves more attention. Let’s break it down a bit:

1. Slavery was harmful to certain families in AFRICA. Contrary to what TFL wants you to think, slave wranglers didn’t carefully round up whole families and ship them off to the colonies.

2. There were no African-Americans during slavery. Being an American includes the all of the rights of being a citizen. Even freed slaves didn’t have those rights. However, further perusal of the MV suggests TFL believes you can be an American even if a few … dozen of your rights are taken away.

3. A child born into slavery wasn’t born into a family. We were property. Property doesn’t have family any more than the cows in the barn or the cotton in the field had families. In addition, the fact that any groupings of  mother, father & child that occurred during slavery could be broken up by the slave owner at any moment makes me wonder how TFL defines family. Actually, they probably do think Virtue Squads should be able to bust up a  home if the parents aren’t the right sort.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Election 2012, Republicans and other Perverts, What Constitution?

G.O.Pr0n

Throughout cinematic history, there have been many movies that can properly be categorized as psychological thriller or horror.

And then there are movies that the production company classifies as psychological thriller or horror, when they ain’t. One current example is “The Life Zone.”

What is The Life Zone? You’re going to hate yourself for asking. To start, if I were going to classify it I’d file it under “Wank material for fetus fetishists who REALLY hate anyone who doesn’t have a dick & cause sane folk to wonder: ‘Who the Hell let these moist-palmed sociopaths out of the asylum and how do we get them back in?’.” From the press release [via TPM]:

The controversial premise of THE LIFE ZONE: three women have been kidnapped from abortion clinics and are being held for seven months–until they all give birth. The film, which appears to cut right down the middle, examining the topic from both sides [Wait, shouldn’t the production company know whether or not it cuts down the middle? (The middle of what? Or who?) Or do they mean it appears to be fair and balanced discussion of whether kidnapping women is a good idea (No.) until the end? How fucking sick are these people anyway? – ed.] offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist [And when they say climatic, they really mean … God these people are unwell – ed].

You can view the trailer and learn more about the greasy little mind behind it by following the link.

In my opinion, the only horror involved in this movie would be if one was dumb enough to watch it and a bunch of seriously hacked off women burst into the theater and started using their DIY Goolie Extractors on every male in the audience. Seriously, if this film gets played at any theater withing 50 miles of my home, I plan to stay indoors for a week.

The movie previewed on Saturday. I have yet to see any reviews but I assume they come in two varieties:

1. The kind typed with one hand.

2. The kind typed so hard the keys went flying off the keyboard.

Don’t forget to stay tuned for the sequel, tentatively titled “Til Death Do Us Part,*” in which the hero kidnaps a gay couple and a lesbian couple right before they’re about to get married and forces them to mate.

*I made this up. But I’m prepared to be not at all surprised.

[H/T Mark B @ R.E.’s xp Rumproast]

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Republicans and other Perverts

God, damn it.

Just woke from a nap – I wanted to be well rested for the post-Rapture revels. And what’s the first thing I hear?

The fucking TalEvangical neighbor running his bloody lawnmower.

Crap.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind

Newspaper Initiates Policy of Truth

Courtesy of T.W.O.:

So they dropped a comma. No one is perfect.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Republicans and other Perverts

Bryan F. & The Black Rabbit of Inle

Fischer in Inle

After the Tea Party Nation warned its followers about the ReaLAMErican/Everyone Else Fecundity Gap, there was a definite feeling that the second well-worn jackboot was heeding gravity’s call.

As it turns out, shoe # 2 took a while to drop because AFA planaria molester spokesgibberer Bryan Fischer was dry humping it and growling at anyone who tried to take it away [via J.M.G.]:

“Welfare has destroyed the African-American family by telling young black women that husbands and fathers are unnecessary and obsolete. Welfare has subsidized illegitimacy by offering financial rewards to women who have more children out of wedlock. We have incentivized fornication rather than marriage, and it’s no wonder we are now awash in the disastrous social consequences of people who rut like rabbits.”

Newt Gingrich, Tim Pawlenty and other GOPals of the Ayran’s First American Family Association have loudly denounced Fischer and no longer wish to be associated with the AFA.

And I am Marie of Rumania.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, ReaLAMErican Hero, Republicans and other Perverts

It’s getting so you need a scorecard to tell the Jihadists from the Teahadists

ReaLAMErican Mike pHuckabee knows what’s best for America. And what’s best for America involves members of the Jesus Jihad forcing you to listen to some other lying hack [via Alternet]:

“I almost wish that there would be, like, a simultaneous telecast, and all Americans would be forced–forced at gunpoint no less–to listen to every David Barton message, and I think our country would be better for it. I wish it’d happen.”

David Barton is the leading promoter of a brand of falsified American history altered to support the claim that America was founded as a Christian, rather than a secular, nation.

Um. Yeah.

Why the hell does anyone worry about foreign religious extremists? Our domestic brand is festering quite nicely.

Video courtesy of People for the American Way’s Kyle Mantyla, who captured the footage before those remarks were cut from the recording.

May he have the pleasure of hearing pHuckabee snarl “I would have gotten away with it; if it weren’t for that meddling kid!”

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Misguided Self-justification, ReaLAMErican Hero

Army backs soldiers who resisted aural assault

Apparently a staff sergeant didn’t get the memo about Christian “Rock.” The only time it should be used by the military is to flush the enemy out of hiding [via AssPress]:

A staff sergeant erred when he banished dozens of soldiers to their barracks and ordered them to clean up after they refused to attend a Christian concert on a Virginia Army base last year, an investigation concluded.

Two soldiers who were punished told the AP they felt pressured to attend a performance by the Christian rock group BarlowGirl, as part of what was billed as the “Commanding General’s Spiritual Fitness Concerts.”

The soldiers said the staff sergeant told 200 men in their barracks they could either attend or remain confined there. They were told to not use their cell phones or personal computers and to clean up their living area.

The company commander apologized the next day. However, the investigation found the sergeant acted without any “malicious intent.”

Oh no, he just wanted them to drive them insane with crap music and violate their religious freedoms.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Military, Misguided Self-justification