Portrait of the Song as a Young Man

WARNING: I ramble on about music in this one, so feel free to skip to the two versions of the song/s I’m rambling on about. Really. Be my guest. I won’t mind.

Once upon a time, way back in 1981 (A.K.A. The Dork Ages),  a Canadian band called Lover Boy released a noise assemblage called “Everybody’s Workin’ for the Weekend.”

You may have heard it. A few hundred thousand million times.

The year before that, another Canadian band called The Kings released a dual tribute to L’Espirit du Weekend: “This Beat Goes on/Switchin’ to Glide.”

As a person who has a negative amount of musical talent and once inflicted G.B.H. on his G.P.A. by taking a music theory class, here’s the best comparison I can give of the two songs:

Lover Boy’s highly contrived effort was overplayed the second time* a DJ dropped the needle†.

The Kings’ effort might be overplayed if a radio station started playing it when it was released and played it non-stop until about … Now.

However, I discovered last night The Kings released a version of the two songs in 1979. It can only be classified as NCH-BOIR‡.

Observe. I mean, listen. Whatever, just click the damn links:

“…when he does smile, he looks as if he’s just evicted a widow”

Surely an 89-year old widow is safe from the giant foam finger of right wing opprobrium. At least if she is a Republican. A fRiechtard, no matter how dimwitted and churlish, would never screech “NOT ONE OF US!” at the wife of Ronald Reagan. Right Mr. Hewitt?

Mr. Hewitt?

With all due respect to Nancy Reagan,

Uh, Mr. Hewitt, are you sure you want to start with that phrase? Based on past experience “With all due respect,” is short hand for “I’m going to make you want to hunt me down and force me to eat a bag of strychnine powdered dicks but it’s your fault if you get upset because I said the magic words that make it okay for me to be a giant festering asshole.” (See also: “I’m not a bigot,” and “Some of my best friends are [members of minority group]” and “Speaking only for myself.”)

her proposal that the first Republican debate of the 2012 season be held at the Reagan Library in the spring of 2011 is worse than a nonstarter. The country needs to focus on the hugely important congressional debates this spring, not on made-for-MSM, liberal-dominated GOP wrestling matches.

OK. So Mrs. Reagan noticed that you all won’t stop humping the headstone of her husband’s grave even after the grounds keepers wrapped it in barbed wire and placed claymores around the perimeter. She assumed you all would go through two boxes of Kleenex at the idea of an event that strengthens the ties between your party and the only president you’ll acknowledge. You happen to disagree. But you’re not going to go on about it.

(Liberal-dominated GOP wrestling matches?)

What am I saying? You’re just getting started.

The idea is itself an insult to conservative activists and new media.

Jesus Christ, the woman weighs 25 pounds fully clothed and soaking wet. I never liked her as FL, but this Soros-Supported Communard suggests that you to ease off the Waah-Waah pedal, exercise a soupçon of restraint and Back. The. Fuck. Off.

Things that defy my powers of snark

This.

A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

It is my experience that minor public officials caught publicly flouting the law don’t last that long.

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

Jesus Christ, just fire this sorry bastard already.

[Kinda sort xp Rumproast]

Kübler-Ross among the WATBs

1. Denial. There is no way this thing I don’t like is happening because things I don’t like are not allowed to happen, ever!

2. Anger. OMG!! Despite my warm-up bout of kicking and screaming this thing I don’t like continues to happen!!! Now I’m really mad!!!!

3. Bargaining. Hey, maybe if I kick and scream and stomp and howl and hold my breath until I turn blue, this thing I don’t like will stop happening!!!!!

4. Misdirection. If the thing I don’t like doesn’t stop happening right this minute, communist Muslim liberal terrorists will rape us to death in the streets!!!!!!

5. Distraction. OMG, another thing I don’t like!!!!!!!

[xp Rumproast]

Can’t sleep

Not only do I feel like I’ll miss something if I fall asleep, but the students are whooping it up. They’re at least half a mile from my house and it sounds like they’re in my bedroom.

I’ll post photos if I’m alert enough in the morning.