Category Archives: Republicans and other Perverts

The McDoctor will see you now

Submitted without comment [via Charles Pierce h/t BJ]:

Saturday night saw a genuinely strange spectacle in Houston. Herman Cain … took the stage with Newt Gingrich … for what was billed as a “Lincoln-Douglas” style debate.

Onstage Saturday, Gingrich seized the opportunity to show off his mastery of policy matters. He spoke with ease about the intricacies of health policy, saying the nation’s health system should be less bureaucratic and more consumer-friendly.
“Think about going to McDonald’s,” Gingrich said. “We have no national hearings on fraud at McDonald’s. You show up and say, ‘I’d like a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.’ You give them money. They are happy. You are happy. If you open up your bag and there’s no Quarter Pounder with Cheese, you are unhappy.”

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Filed under Election 2012, Republicans and other Perverts

You can’t grope the children of the rEVOLution

So. This happened [via IBD]:

I'm in ur face. Gettin' up in ur grill.

During a commercial break, Perry walked up to Paul’s podium, physically grabbed Paul’s wrist, and pointed at Paul’s face with his other hand.

I’m not sure how much attention this will get as we are well into the now annual Ritual of Dead Gawking, AKA The anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. However, the bobbleheads eat up this sort of thing with a spoon and lick the plate after.

For now I’ll just note that Gov. Good Hair is such a huge dick that he can’t make it through a debate without turning into Gov. Grabby Hands.

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Filed under Election 2012, Republicans and other Perverts

Life’s Little Perfections

From the recently and tragically defunct Family Circus of Values comes this wee bit o’ perfect titled The Impossible:Yay! Feisty Snarkologist is Still Feisty.

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Filed under A break from the fail, Child Abuse, Republicans and other Perverts

More stuff I’m too lazy to drag over from The Roast

Texas Judge Outlaws Male Teachers, Little League Coaches, Troop Leaders …

Ron Paul Reminds the Public: Gibbertarians are Worthless Fuckstains.

In other news, right this very second I am listening to this. Loud. Louder!

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Filed under A break from the fail, Republicans and other Perverts, What Constitution?

The First Bullet

The Marriage Vow created by The FAMiLY LEADER has been getting a lot of attention, especially since presidential dopefuls Bachmann, Santorum &  Pawlenty signed the thing.

It is about what you’d expect from an organization of that name.

That is, a disjointed collection of squawking points about the perils of consensual sex that reads like it was written by a schizophrenic who has been flushing his meds down the toilet.

Yesterday Mrs. Polly of Rumproast pulled this quote from the wreckage. Mind you, it is the very first bullet of their Vow:

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.

Amazing innit? The way they manage to cram so many racist lies into such a tiny space. But upon re-reading it this morning, the first phrase of the first bullet point deserves more attention. Let’s break it down a bit:

1. Slavery was harmful to certain families in AFRICA. Contrary to what TFL wants you to think, slave wranglers didn’t carefully round up whole families and ship them off to the colonies.

2. There were no African-Americans during slavery. Being an American includes the all of the rights of being a citizen. Even freed slaves didn’t have those rights. However, further perusal of the MV suggests TFL believes you can be an American even if a few … dozen of your rights are taken away.

3. A child born into slavery wasn’t born into a family. We were property. Property doesn’t have family any more than the cows in the barn or the cotton in the field had families. In addition, the fact that any groupings of  mother, father & child that occurred during slavery could be broken up by the slave owner at any moment makes me wonder how TFL defines family. Actually, they probably do think Virtue Squads should be able to bust up a  home if the parents aren’t the right sort.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Election 2012, Republicans and other Perverts, What Constitution?

G.O.Pr0n

Throughout cinematic history, there have been many movies that can properly be categorized as psychological thriller or horror.

And then there are movies that the production company classifies as psychological thriller or horror, when they ain’t. One current example is “The Life Zone.”

What is The Life Zone? You’re going to hate yourself for asking. To start, if I were going to classify it I’d file it under “Wank material for fetus fetishists who REALLY hate anyone who doesn’t have a dick & cause sane folk to wonder: ‘Who the Hell let these moist-palmed sociopaths out of the asylum and how do we get them back in?’.” From the press release [via TPM]:

The controversial premise of THE LIFE ZONE: three women have been kidnapped from abortion clinics and are being held for seven months–until they all give birth. The film, which appears to cut right down the middle, examining the topic from both sides [Wait, shouldn’t the production company know whether or not it cuts down the middle? (The middle of what? Or who?) Or do they mean it appears to be fair and balanced discussion of whether kidnapping women is a good idea (No.) until the end? How fucking sick are these people anyway? – ed.] offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist [And when they say climatic, they really mean … God these people are unwell – ed].

You can view the trailer and learn more about the greasy little mind behind it by following the link.

In my opinion, the only horror involved in this movie would be if one was dumb enough to watch it and a bunch of seriously hacked off women burst into the theater and started using their DIY Goolie Extractors on every male in the audience. Seriously, if this film gets played at any theater withing 50 miles of my home, I plan to stay indoors for a week.

The movie previewed on Saturday. I have yet to see any reviews but I assume they come in two varieties:

1. The kind typed with one hand.

2. The kind typed so hard the keys went flying off the keyboard.

Don’t forget to stay tuned for the sequel, tentatively titled “Til Death Do Us Part,*” in which the hero kidnaps a gay couple and a lesbian couple right before they’re about to get married and forces them to mate.

*I made this up. But I’m prepared to be not at all surprised.

[H/T Mark B @ R.E.’s xp Rumproast]

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Republicans and other Perverts

Newspaper Initiates Policy of Truth

Courtesy of T.W.O.:

So they dropped a comma. No one is perfect.

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Republicans and other Perverts