Category Archives: WATB

You might be David Frum if …

This photo sends you reeling to the swooning couch [via FrumpForum]:

How DARE they make themselves at home?

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Filed under Everyone is the root of all evil except for me and my monkey, WATB

American Floaters n’ Sinkers

Shorter American Thinker:*

The filthy liberal Norwegians totally deserved Anders Behring Breivik’s Day Out because they’re such filthy liberal Norwegians.

P.S. AlGore – STILL FAT!

Slightly longer American Thinker if you’re hesitant to gather mangoes:

Liberal Norwegians made the beast with two backs with Fat AlGore and spawned someone who gave their liberal Norwegians asses the beating they deserve. And because Norwegians are such liberal frilly girl panties he’ll be back in two decades with an army of skinheads to give them another well deserved beating.

(Note: Still 99% shorter than the linked Skreeeed.)

Meanwhile, Sadly, No! reports Bargain Basement Boudica is quite anxious to distract us from the number of shout outs Anders Can’t Bear Brevity gives her in his manifesto (at least 13).

Plus, he wasn’t really anti-Muslim because he didn’t hunt down and slaughter a bunch of Muslim children!

And if he’s a right winger who hates Muslims, how does that translate into killing a bunch of political youth party Workers’ Youth League. He could easily have found Muslim children to kill if that had been his intention.

Which would have been totes OK with Pam.

Because she’s a sick fuck.

[xp Rumproast]

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Filed under 'Sponsitility, Everyone is the root of all evil except for me and my monkey, ReaLAMErican Hero, WATB

Dan Savage: 1,015,872; Rick Frothy Fecal Matter: -34

Shorter Santorum: Waiter, I didn’t order this flabby, pallid … Hey! How’d my ass get on this platter?

Alternate Shorter Santorum: Are we sure those civilization-destroying pervs have 1st Am. rights?

By the way, if anyone knows Dan Savage, tell him it is way past time to fire up the website again. Thx!

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Filed under =MR, A break from the fail, Adventures in the Intertubes, WATB

For the firebagger who has nothing because Obama took it all

If you’ve got Firebaggers on your Festivus list you’ve no doubt been wondering what to get them. After all, it isn’t easy to find a gift that says “You’re a politically inert waste of skin who squeals like a pig with its dick caught in a rat trap at little or no provocation. But I really … don’t hate you. All that much.”

Your search is over. After months of studying firebaggers, fauxgressives, nogressvies, regressives and emogressives in their natural habitat, I’m proud to present the FIREBAGGER GIFT BUYING (EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH) GUIDE FOR 2010.

The following 5 gifts will delight the proggy and stop the whining. For a couple of minutes. Maybe:

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Filed under Mental Health, Misguided Self-justification, WATB

“…when he does smile, he looks as if he’s just evicted a widow”

Surely an 89-year old widow is safe from the giant foam finger of right wing opprobrium. At least if she is a Republican. A fRiechtard, no matter how dimwitted and churlish, would never screech “NOT ONE OF US!” at the wife of Ronald Reagan. Right Mr. Hewitt?

Mr. Hewitt?

With all due respect to Nancy Reagan,

Uh, Mr. Hewitt, are you sure you want to start with that phrase? Based on past experience “With all due respect,” is short hand for “I’m going to make you want to hunt me down and force me to eat a bag of strychnine powdered dicks but it’s your fault if you get upset because I said the magic words that make it okay for me to be a giant festering asshole.” (See also: “I’m not a bigot,” and “Some of my best friends are [members of minority group]” and “Speaking only for myself.”)

her proposal that the first Republican debate of the 2012 season be held at the Reagan Library in the spring of 2011 is worse than a nonstarter. The country needs to focus on the hugely important congressional debates this spring, not on made-for-MSM, liberal-dominated GOP wrestling matches.

OK. So Mrs. Reagan noticed that you all won’t stop humping the headstone of her husband’s grave even after the grounds keepers wrapped it in barbed wire and placed claymores around the perimeter. She assumed you all would go through two boxes of Kleenex at the idea of an event that strengthens the ties between your party and the only president you’ll acknowledge. You happen to disagree. But you’re not going to go on about it.

(Liberal-dominated GOP wrestling matches?)

What am I saying? You’re just getting started.

The idea is itself an insult to conservative activists and new media.

Jesus Christ, the woman weighs 25 pounds fully clothed and soaking wet. I never liked her as FL, but this Soros-Supported Communard suggests that you to ease off the Waah-Waah pedal, exercise a soupçon of restraint and Back. The. Fuck. Off.

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Filed under Mental Health, Republicans and other Perverts, Uncategorized, WATB

N-word rant killed the radio star

Dr. Ssss

Poor Dr. Laura. Another conservative  victim of that damned cause and effect (via MSNBCDEFG):

Dr. Laura Schlessinger says she’s shutting down her 30-year-old syndicated radio program at the end of the year …

Aw. Such a loss to the world of Krazy Konservative Kommentary.

But I’m sure she’s learned an important lessons after squatting over a live mike, flooding the air waves with racist rant-a-thon and then – for some perfectly innocent reason, I’m sure – pulling the recording from her show’s website.

…so she can get her “First Amendment rights” back.

Ha, ha! You didn’t really think she’d learned diddly or squat, did you?

“I want to be able to say what’s on my mind and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry, some special interest group deciding this is the time to silence a voice of dissent and attack affiliates, attack sponsors. I’m sort of done with that.”

I have a suggestion for “Dr.” L: Take some of your money and hire a decent attorney. He’ll explain that the 1st Am. bars the government from throwing you in jail or otherwise being nasty to you for the things you say. He’ll also explain that the invisible hand of the free market will give you the finger if the things you say are too toxic for your sponsors.

And that’s the American Way.

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Filed under 'Sponsitility, Tantrums, WATB

It’s time to play another round of “What does Joe Want Now?”

Excuse me. Will someone figure out what professional toad and Olympic-class attention whore Joe Lieberman (I-ConU) wants so he can fuck off out of the way of DADT repeal? Thanks (via Balloon Juice):

Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) announced this morning that he will introduce legislation repealing “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Democrats have sought to repeal the law since President Obama took office, but have been stymied by a busy legislative calendar.

Lieberman says the time is now right to pass a repeal.

“I will be proud to be a sponsor of the important effort to enable patriotic gay Americans to defend our national security and our founding values of freedom and opportunity,” Lieberman said.

There has been a lot of … excitement about this announcement even though this is Joe Lieberman we’re talking about and Joe has only said he’ll introduce a bill (latest check of Thomas.gov shows no such bill has been introduced).

Call me a cynic but here’s my take on what we can expect from JoLie: First he’ll grab a few more hours in front of the cameras. Then he’ll accept whatever his fRightie friends offer to make him change his mind. Then he’ll find something else to be a douche about.

SAIEW.

p.s. Can we please quit talking about whether allowing GLBs to openly serve would be the greatest civil rights thingy in the history of the U.S. ever? It’s the bastard child of the “Who is the most oppressed” debate and frankly, that shit was tired when I was in college (1362 A.D.)

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Filed under Military, WATB