How to make sure the only black people who vote (R) are two guys named Alan

Shorter Sen. Cockburn (R-Whitesheet):

“The President of the United States is just a another confused n!gger who got where he is thanks to Affirmative Action and welfare. Hyuck!”

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Nobody does it better

It’s hard out there for a LaRouchian. (LaRouchite? LaRouchistani?) It was not so long ago that we relied on them for our R.D.A. of full blown loony arsed gibberish spigots and spouters of conspiracy theories so deranged Mulder and the dudes of The Smoking Gun would perform a brilliant display of synchronized eye rolling disguised as a political party.

Oh, how times have changed.

But that doesn’t mean the LaRoons have lost their fire. They haven’t given up. They haven’t been assimilated into the TeaBorg.

They. Still. Have. Their. Chops.

Only the LaRouchel mind could have produced something that would allow me to write the following shorter.

Please ladies and gentlemen, I must have complete silence for this next trick.

Shorter LaRouche PAC Flyer I Found on the Train: We must remove President Obama from office because he took our spaceships so meteorites can kill everyone! Dead!

Yes! They’ve still got it!

I swear to the Babies Jesus, Mohammed and Guatama:

Ample evidence compiled by LaRouche PAC indicates that Barack Obama’s anti-NASA and anti-science policy is indeed criminal negligence which could potentially result in the extinction of the entire human species, warranting his removal from office under the authority of the 25th Amendment of the Constitution [It’s a special 25th Am. That only they can see -ed].

[…]

This policy is not meant to save money. It is meant to kill people. It is an explicitly anti-human policy, meant to reduce humans to nothing more than another animal confied to the face of the planet, buffeted by unknowable forces [Faaaart! -ed.], ultimately doomed to extinction — like every other animal.

[…]

In face of such potential, coinciding with the potential for terrible disaster, these long-term investments become more clearly a matter of human evolution or extinction. It should be clear from all of this [Provided you have not been following your doctor’s and/or probation officer’s orders -ed.] that Obama must be removed immediately.

It does go on. If time and inclination allow I’ll get my scanner working and load the flyer. Or you can go to their website and find out how to listen in to their live webcast on 19 April.

But in the meantime if you hear about a guy being fatally bitten by a snake that somehow wound up in his sock drawer, you’ll know they got me.

What They Do* [Updated]

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless ex-running mate who is duller than a box of hair [via J.M.G.]:

After her speech, Palin sat down for a Q and A session with India Today Editor-in-Chief and Session Chairman Aroon Purie, during which she blamed McCain for losing 2008, among other mildly amusing indications that she is running for President in 2012. When asked why she lost 2008, Palin snapped, “I wasn’t the top of the ticket!”

Mr. Purie didn’t know he was speaking to Shebilly Who Must Be Obeyed. Hilarity Ensued. Also:

Purie asks her what she would do with India in regards to Pakistan. “We can’t go back to that hyphenated days of, no we need to and can work together in working with Pakistan, and we have our issues there, too, and in a sense we do, but we need to work with Pakistan, but that’s one of those issues that we need to work on, as we strengthen our allies, there…”

Bwahahaha! Thanks Sen. McCain!

*For the groove impaired.

That was yesterday, girl

GOProd February 10, 2010:

A new Daily Kos/Research2000 poll shows that former Vice President Dick Cheney is among the frontrunners for the 2012 Republican nomination for President.  “This poll confirms that former Vice President Cheney would be a formidable candidate for President in 2012,” said Christopher Barron, an organizer of Draft Dick Cheney 2012, a 527 organization formed to convince the former Vice President to seek the GOP nomination for President in 2012.

GOProd, February 10, 2011:

It is anyone’s guess who’ll receive the 3rd Annual GOProud Tramp Stamp of Approval on February 10, 2012. However, it is a safe bet he (or she) will be rabidly conservative, loathsome, filthy rich and so full of himself that he’s stacked inside himself like a set of matryoshkas.

Palins attempt to trademark Yet Another Cock-up®

It’s been more than an hour, so it must be time for another Spudnut moment from the Blundah of the Tundrah®:

Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein registered for a “Sarah Palin” trademark three days after the 2010 midterm elections. A “Bristol Palin” application was filed five days prior to the “Dancing With the Stars” Sept. 20 season premiere.

SPalin™ application.

BPalin™ application.

Fart-in-a-box mailer sought by feds

In case you haven’t heard, some dipshit from my neck of the woods has aroused the ire of the FBI, the DHS, the USPS and assorted other humans with weapons and big serious briefcases because he suffers from Road Sign Rage.

The first “incendiary device” was opened around 12:25 p.m. by a mailroom employee, who singed his fingers, in the Jeffrey Building, just steps from the State House in downtown Annapolis. The small white, book-sized package, which was affixed with five holiday-themed stamps and addressed to [Gov. Martin] O’Malley, ignited in a small puff of smoke and smelled of sulfur.

I’ll see Your Grandstand and Raise you a Showboat

Cantor’s opening bid is impressive, but 12 gentlemen from Wyoming have raised the stakes.