Category Archives: WW4F

PACing It In

Sarah PAC June 30, 2011*.

SP June 2011 filing

Some numbers from the PAC’s December 30, 2010 filing*:

Total Receipts: $5,685,213
Individual Contributions: $5,639,060
Total Disbursements: $4,356,458
Contributions To Other Committees: $509,000

Unless it changes its filing schedule to monthly, Sarah PAC will file again in December 2011. At which point we’ll get an idea of how many of the faithful fell for the Quitessential Governor’s Dance of the 700,000 Veils this summer.

Me, I say the One Nation Under Youbetcha tour bus gets cut up to make relics for various $arah $hrines around the country before mid-2012.

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Filed under Election 2012, ReaLAMErican Hero, WW4F

Sarah Palin can see 50 from her front yard!

At Rumproast, ms yafb notes that while we were riveted by the frivolous and unimportant goings on in Egypt, we failed to acknowledge an event that was 10,000 times more important. Sarah Palin – The Most Extraordinary Person in the Entire Universe – turned 47 years old.

To make up for this deplorable lapse in manners, I humbly present this Birthday Blingee to the President of the United States of Facebook.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Happy  Birthday Sarah!

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Filed under ReaLAMErican Hero, WW4F

If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again

The Doughy Pantload (AKA Jonah Goldberg), on equal marriage rights, Take 2:

But all I can say in my defense is that I think I’m right about the inevitability of gay marriage or at least very strong civil unions (which would ultimately lead to gay marriage, anyway). [Bzzzt! The correct answer is: All I can say in my defense is I’ll shut up and never seek to communicate with another human being for the rest of my miserable life – ed.]

I don’t take this position because I’m dodging, or caving, or playing games of some kind [Butcha aaare, ya aaare in the chair, Blanche! – ed]. I just happen to think it’s true (barring some scientific developments down the road).

Yup. According to the Loathesome Doughfucker, unspecified “scientific developments” could stop the inevitable spread of equal marriage rights in this country.

Those of us who know a teeny bit about events both past and current tend to reach for the trusty blunderbuss we hear this kind of talk. It makes us nervous.

However, those of us who know jackshit about anything are free to blithely claim that gays were the best friends a Nazi ever had ergo liberals are fascists but maybe a scientific development or two will set things right, which is (of course) central to the point.

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Filed under =MR, Republicans and other Perverts, WW4F

Filler du jour

Runner up:

President Barack Obama’s approval ratings have sunk … so low that he’d lose the White House to Republican Mitt Romney if the election were held today,according to a new McClatchy-Marist poll.

This is causing knickersknotitis in some quarters of the Internet  (and I don’t want to think about what it is doing to k-Load’s panties). Fortunately the condition can be cured by entering Mitt Romney in the search bar and/or engaging in a little critical thinking. I’m surprised it made past McClatchy’s editors.

The Winner:

The potential U.S. presidential candidate also planned to stop by cholera-treatment centers.

Seriously? An outlet that writes that about Palin should just write it about everyone:

“Potential U.S. presidential candidate Jarvis Goodyear pleaded not guilty to six charges of public nudity.”

“Potential U.S. presidential candidate Travis Yeardley is excited about his first day of school.”

“Potential U.S. presidential candidate Adorabelle Dearheart died yesterday at the age of 96. She is survived by three children, five grandchildren and one great-grandchild.”

 

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Filed under WW4F

Phobic Phucksticks in the news

My Pretty Paladino is one classy bucket of rancid pig swill:

New York Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino has told Orthodox Jewish leaders that he doesn’t want children “brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality” is acceptable.

Paladino made the comments Sunday at a synagogue in New York. He skipped a line from his prepared text that read, “There is nothing to be proud of in being a dysfunctional homosexual.”

Because it would have killed that slimy sack of buzzard puke to skip the homophobic bullshit completely.

Asked whether his comments were appropriate given the attack, Paladino said he does not support violence against gays.

“Don’t misquote me as wanting to hurt homosexual people in any way. That would be a dastardly lie,” he said. “My approach is live and let live.”

Except, it isn’t your approach you fat sweaty fucknugget.

Listen up NYers, don’t make me sell your state to The Utterly Evil Things from Andromeda 7. They’re messy eaters.

Update: Missed this in my first pass through the story –

He added that children who later in life choose to marry people of the opposite sex and raise families would be “much better off and much more successful.”

I guess Carl Palomino figured raising TWO families would make him TWICE as successful.

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Filed under Lazy Latte Sipping Islahomo, Republicans and other Perverts, WW4F

Nothing happened yesterday

OK, the sun rose in the morning and set again that evening but other than that, nada. Zilch. Nuthin’. How do I know?

Because not one, but two reporters for the New York Times had nothing better to do than write a story with the following headline [via Balloon Juice]:

Asked to Declare His Race, Obama Checks ‘Black’

No wait. It gets worse. Here’s the lede:

It is official: Barack Obama is the nation’s first black president.

I’m sorry to do this to you, but it gets even worse:

Mr. Obama could have checked white, checked both black and white, or checked the last category on the form, “some other race,” which he would then have been asked to identify in writing.

Sure, he could have checked white.  Sure.

Wow.

I’m sure about one thing. More thought went into which box President Obama checked than went into the creation of a seven paragraph article on which box President Obama checked.

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Filed under WW4F

I founded ur rich people

And I ated them [via 24/7 Wall Street]:

The number of millionaire households in the world dropped from 11 million in 2007 to 9 million last year, a fall of almost 18%, according to The Boston Consulting Group. The figure was worse in North America where the drop was 22%.

There have been a number of articles of late in which the writer wrings his hands and bewails the fate of the rich people.

Here’s my thing and with no disrespect meant to people who happen to be in an different income bracket just because it’s different. If you were a millionaire in, say, 2007, and you are no longer a millionaire now, there’s still a hell of a lot of air between “I’m no longer a millionaire,” and “Holy God, how am I going to eat today?”

There are three things I can think of that would cause a millionaire to become an ex-millionaire, only one of which might cause anyone to give much of a flaming fuck:

1. You lost a dollar and now you’re only a 999,999aire, but you’ll be all right as soon as you check between the sofa cushions. Get outta here.

2. You were incredibly fucking stupid with your money because it never occurred to you the party would ever end. Die in a fire.

3. Some bastard like Bernie Madoff scammed the hell out of you. If you lost all of your money because you really didn’t know any better, I feel bad for you. But in many cases you belong in category 2. Piss off.

I excluded legal defense fees for criminal/civil cases because really, fuck the robber barons.

A secondary problem with these articles crops up when the writer (sensing that his audience might be thinking they could save a little money if they used the article as toilet paper) attempts to make the audience care by tying their fate to that of the millionaire:

The rich seem to have joined the middle class on the metaphorical bread line [except as a broad statement applied to millionaires or even people defined as rich this is total bullshit -ed.], which is not good news for developed economies that are counting on consumer spending to help drive GDP growth rebounds.

Wait. First we had to keep various mismanaged corporations afloat because they produced jobs. Now we have to worry about sundry Trustafarians* because they buy shit?

I have a tiny violin going cheap.

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Filed under Economy, Tantrums, WW4F