I know why it’s been impossible for me to blog of late. I don’t know where the hell to begin.
To be sure, I’m not surprised the fReichtards struggled into two wetsuits and dove to new depths of ape-shittery when Obama was elected, but I’m starting to wonder if they all have minders whose sole job is to make sure they don’t go outside with their dookie smeared knickers (well knotted, natch) on their heads.
We have creatures like CounterIntelligence Chief Michelle Malkin declaring that it is too appropriate to compare Obama to Hitler because the lefties did it to Bush and … socialism and … uh … death to porkulus and Graeme Frost!!!
The Washington Times has thrown all restraint to the winds. In the past couple of days it has run front page above the fold stories about a) Obama’s terribly suspicious use of American flags during his appearances. I take it a PotUS who appears with flags around his podium MUST BE USING THEM TO HIDE ISLAMIC KENYAN INDONESIAN HAWAIIAN TERRISTS! and b) The following 36 pt headline: Holder Calls America a Nation of Cowards.
He was actually referring to everyone’s refusal to discuss race issues. I imagine he’s still laughing because in response to his comments, everyone shat their pants, took off their pants, grabbed a passing stranger’s pants and shat those pants.
Apparently the first black A.G. discussing race relations during Black History Month is simply too radical.
Oh, and if I didn’t know he was a fucking clown, I’d suspect Michael “Democrat on Election Day” Steele is secretly planning to wreck the GOP, either by driving away Das Base or pissing off everyone so badly they drive the GOP out of the country. But there is no secret plan. He’s just another Republican asshole.
Le double sigh.
So I think, why bother? Actually, I laugh really hard and then I think, why bother? But this morning I came across this little gem and felt it needed to be preserved, like a tick in amber (via the Washington Post):
See, in my world, stars don’t come any bigger than Newt Gingrich, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney and Mike Pence (if there were a congressional version of Teen Beat, the Indiana congressman would be on its cover every month*). Michael Steele, Mike Huckabee and John Boehner are the Jonas Brothers of conservative celebrity. And all of them will be at CPAC 2009.
If I were a nice person, the above paragraph alone would have me weeping tears of sympathy for these poor deluded fucks. But I’m not nice and if you’re not nice and you need a laugh, I recommend reading the entire opinion piece by Ms. Sippy Cupp.
Even though I suspect she is that rare thing: A fRightie with a tiny but still semi-functional humor gland, she perfectly captures the current spirit of the GOP. “Hey, we’re really cool and hip and bitchin’ and groovy. Maybe we’re not cool to those degenerate lefties and moderates and most Americans, but huh! Who cares? We don’t need them!”
In other words, every sentence is a futile attempt to shout above the sound of water rushing into the hold and that’s a beautiful thing.
*Note to Republicans: Please don’t mention teen heart throbs and your members of Congress in the same paragraph. Ever. Also, Mike Pence is a solid 6.5, in a good light. You’re welcome.