Category Archives: Health

how lazy am i?

too lazy to drag this post over here.

also, screw the shift key.

i’m telling you, this flu is maggot bedecked dead dog balls baking in the sun. if anyone with this flu even looks at you, punch them, in the face, a lot.

and then wash your hands.



Filed under Health, Lazy Latte Sipping Islahomo

PPACin heat

French Pistol

Why you ask? Because while the rest of you are swapping recipes for hemlattes and cyanide souffles and amanitatinis and wondering what to wear to your first Death Panel party (black is classic but a tad cliché), some of us have to read this big boy.

As a result, some of us are wondering WTF is wrong with this country [PPACA p. 2037 – 2040]:


‘‘(1) WELLNESS AND PREVENTION PROGRAMS.—A wellness and health promotion activity implemented under subsection (a)(1)(D) may not require the disclosure or collection of any information relating to—
‘‘(A) the presence or storage of a lawfully possessed firearm or ammunition in the residence or on the property of an individual; or
‘‘(B) the lawful use, possession, or storage of a firearm or ammunition by an individual.

Yes, for reasons I’ve not bothered to research (although I could make an edumacated guess), approximately three pages of  PPACA are devoted to reassuring ReaLAMEricans that under no circumstances will any Health Nazis try to count, fondle, fold, spindle or mutilate a man’s precious private guns.

I’ve yet to find the pages devoted to assuring ReaLAMEricans that Health Nazis won’t make them gay marry box turtles or burn their Bibles or stick beans up their nose, but you know what? I won’t be surprised if it it’s in there.

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Filed under Circular firing squad, Health

You kids leave John alone

Rahm, did you tell Harry to stick this in the PP&ACA? Answer me when I talk to you young man! And don’t think I can’t hear you snickering there at the back Nancy. It isn’t funny [via the DPC]:

Revenue Changes. Imposes a ten percent tax on amounts paid for indoor tanning services for services provided on or after July 1, 2010.

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Filed under A break from the fail, Health

Match the gibberish to the jackass

Before you play, a little background:

Another child has dared to speak in favor of a Democrat-sponsored bill and the usual rejects are … well, let’s just say there are no surprises here.

Conservative talk show hosts and columnists have ridiculed an 11-year-old Washington state boy’s account of his mother’s death as a “sob story” exploited by the White House and congressional Democrats like a “kiddie shield” to defend their health care legislation.

More non-surprises: The kid has 1,000x more class than the adult dipshits attacking him.

Marcelas Owens, whose mother got sick, lost her job, lost her health insurance and died, said Thursday he’s taking the attacks from Rush Limbaugh , Glenn Beck and Michelle Malkin in stride.

“My mother always taught me they can have their own opinion but that doesn’t mean they are right,” Owens, who lives in Seattle , said in an interview.

Now it’s time to play Match the Gibberish to the Jackass!

Continue reading

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Filed under Health, Republicans and other Perverts, Tantrums

On second thought, fuck you

So I’ve just read what seems like the 10,000th post bewailing (or calling for) the death of Health Care Reform.

Well. No one could be more surprised than me when I thought about it and came to the following conclusion:

Fuck You. Really.

Yesterday (for those of you who missed it) another Teabagger rally took place in D.C.

I’ve lost track of how many times these dumb fucks have answered the call of “people” like Rick Fucking Scott and shambled into the city to scream about soshulist death panels. And you know what? Today I realized it’s irrelevant. Because what I haven’t seen is hordes of people who do want health care reform holding protests.

Nope, despite the fact that millions of people don’t have health insurance and need health insurance, they’re just not that into actually asking for it in a way that lets the people who are drafting the damn bill know what they want. Excuse me for thinking you gave a fuck.

So fuck you. I’ve got insurance, it covers the S.O. I’m good. To those of you who are not so good: If you sat on your ass complaining that you wanted insurance and you don’t get insurance because you couldn’t be bothered to drag your ass out of the house to ask for insurance … kindly go fuck yourself dig a hole and then die. Fuck you. You’re useless. You got punked by a bunch of dipshits who think the Earth is 6,000 years old. You got rolled by a horde of twats who think teh ghey are going to bust down the door and break up their marriage. You got p-w-n-e-d by a gaggle of the dumbest, meanest, fugliest people in the country and it is, at the end of the day, all your fault.

Fuck you.

I mean, look at you. You let Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin and the numbnuts who think they represent leadership take the best chance you  had to get health insurance for the next few decades.

I laugh at the ginormous health bills you may rack up in the future. Fuck you.

Really, I’m done with this shit. Shut the fuck up and fuck you.

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Filed under 'Sponsitility, Health, Tantrums, WATB

Pig Cooties could land us in FEMA Camps! Also!

Concern is in the air [via WTOP]:

“The powers that are given to governors and often to the chief executives of localities are truly extraordinary,” says Michael Greenberger, founder and director of the Center for Health and Homeland Security at the University of Maryland. “They virtually can constitute martial law.”

OMG! There must be an outbreak of a very deadly, highly contagious and easily transmissible disease if a professor is taking time out of his busy schedule to talk about the governor’s Break Glass in the Event of an Emergency, and it Sure as Fuck Better be a REAL Emergency, Bitch, powers.  Shit, and here’s me without 50,000 yards of duct tape. At least I haz a bukkit to catch my vital organs when they start to drip out of my nose. Oh. Wait …

[The governor] can quarantine, he can isolate, he can seize medications, of course he would have to after the fact pay for them,” Greenberger says. In addition, “[The governor] can martial [sic, the word you want is m-a-r-s-h-a-l-l, look it up -ed.] the entire police power of the state to help him in the enforcement of these measures.”

Greenberger spoke at the National Press Club this week during a discussion titled “Swine Flu: A Danger to Your Rights as Well as Your Health?”

Please. O’Malley isn’t going to send the N.G. out to jab us with needles and seal us in our homes over a disease that is less deadly than the regular flu and you know it. I sentence you to five hours of reading birfer websites.

Don’t whine or you’ll get six  hours listening to speeches by Michele Bachmann.

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Filed under Health, Local Fail, RBBC

Obaministration initiates Protocols of the Elders of GLBT; Everyone really doomed this time. I mean it.

This is not a good week for our insect bothering friends. Obama’s dastardly plan to make throwing rocks at a gay couple a federal hate crime (which is totally not fair, look you made Tony cry) proceeds apace. At the same time the Department of Health & Human Services is unleashing a plot to send your grandparents to Death Camp and replace them with people who are old and gay! It’s TRUE (via the HHS Website):

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius today announced plans to establish the nation’s first national resource center to assist communities across the country in their efforts to provide services and supports for older lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals.

Experts estimate that as many as 1.5 to 4 million LGBT individuals are age 60 and older.[That sound you just heard was caused by fReichtards keeling over at the thought of 4 million Barney Franks roaming the world, talking smack and taking no prisoners].

Here’s the thing. The amount of money Sebelius wants to set aside, not has, but wants to if she can get it, amounts to diddly/squat ($250,000). It’s the equivalent of a Hallmark card from the .99 bin.  It is a nice gesture. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But once the moth rapists stop screaming about the mean old nasty anti-hate crimes bill (because people who pass anti-hate crime legislation are the real haters), they’ll start up about this. You know the drill: Impassioned gibbering and shrieking against taking care of old people. Warnings that this poses a dire threat to the three C’s: Christianity, Children & Civilization.

Followed by yet another jackass getting caught with his hands down someone’s pants or a “device” down his wetsuit.


[xp Rumproast]

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Filed under Health, We're from the government