Does Time magazine cause painful anal itching?

According to the New Rules of Journalism, it’s a fair question.

Time Rag.

Yes, I know. I passed up the opportunity to title this “Rocket from Russia.” However, the article (which does not improve once you drag yourself past the lede) is nothing more than an attempt to send the fReichtards back to their dressers for a fresh pair of panties and a new sock.

Let’s grab a quote from Mr. “Simon Shuster’s” article at random:

“The most likely explanation is that the Israelis intercepted this cargo, which had been meant for Syria or Iran,” says Yulya Latynina, a prominent political commentator and radio host on Echo of Moscow, a station owned by state-controlled gas giant Gazprom.

I could write for hours about the problems with this one paragraph. Or I could snicker at the name Gazprom because it sounds like the prom date from Hell. I pick door Number 2 until the TalEvangicals catch wind of this and go into a Force 8 Rapture Frenzy and then I’ll laugh at that.

Apparently, someone got really stoned, read Revelation and decided Russia and Israel mixing it up is A SIGN that soon they’ll be whisked away to Heaven where they’ll get front row seats to the Sinners Writhing in Torment-a-thon.

Actually, we’ve got a big Post-Rapture party planned. Don’t tell them! Mr. Shuster (if that is his real name) isn’t invited either.

My theory: The Russians wanted to confuse six flavors of hell out of English speakers. They named a ship the Artic Sea, hid it for a few weeks and then started calling various officials: “Excuse me, the Artic Sea is missing, have you seen it?” Confirmation will come if the Russians start complaining about the loss of the ship My Cherry.

xp Rumproast


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