G.O.Pr0n

Throughout cinematic history, there have been many movies that can properly be categorized as psychological thriller or horror.

And then there are movies that the production company classifies as psychological thriller or horror, when they ain’t. One current example is “The Life Zone.”

What is The Life Zone? You’re going to hate yourself for asking. To start, if I were going to classify it I’d file it under “Wank material for fetus fetishists who REALLY hate anyone who doesn’t have a dick & cause sane folk to wonder: ‘Who the Hell let these moist-palmed sociopaths out of the asylum and how do we get them back in?’.” From the press release [via TPM]:

The controversial premise of THE LIFE ZONE: three women have been kidnapped from abortion clinics and are being held for seven months–until they all give birth. The film, which appears to cut right down the middle, examining the topic from both sides [Wait, shouldn’t the production company know whether or not it cuts down the middle? (The middle of what? Or who?) Or do they mean it appears to be fair and balanced discussion of whether kidnapping women is a good idea (No.) until the end? How fucking sick are these people anyway? – ed.] offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist [And when they say climatic, they really mean … God these people are unwell – ed].

You can view the trailer and learn more about the greasy little mind behind it by following the link.

In my opinion, the only horror involved in this movie would be if one was dumb enough to watch it and a bunch of seriously hacked off women burst into the theater and started using their DIY Goolie Extractors on every male in the audience. Seriously, if this film gets played at any theater withing 50 miles of my home, I plan to stay indoors for a week.

The movie previewed on Saturday. I have yet to see any reviews but I assume they come in two varieties:

1. The kind typed with one hand.

2. The kind typed so hard the keys went flying off the keyboard.

Don’t forget to stay tuned for the sequel, tentatively titled “Til Death Do Us Part,*” in which the hero kidnaps a gay couple and a lesbian couple right before they’re about to get married and forces them to mate.

*I made this up. But I’m prepared to be not at all surprised.

[H/T Mark B @ R.E.’s xp Rumproast]

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2 Comments

Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Republicans and other Perverts

2 responses to “G.O.Pr0n

  1. B^4

    Wait, shouldn’t the production company know whether or not it cuts down the middle? (The middle of what? Or who?)

    Maybe it’s a reference to this.

    I can’t believe they’d make a movie with an explicit “forced birth” message, usually they obfuscate to hide exactly how evil they are.

    • jscottg

      Cutting the babies in half WOULD keep the mothers and children from becoming welfare leeches.

      I suppose I should update to note that in a blinding display of PR brilliance, this movie was released the day after the freaks who held kidnapped and repeatedly raped Jaycee Dugard were sentenced. But I might have to hit several people several times.