Today is 13 January 2011. Bite Me.

January 10 was National Clean off Your Desk Day. January is National Get Organized Month. If you’re like me, this information makes you hunt feverishly for more crap to pile on your desk [via Deutschland über Elvis]:

In a brilliant stroke of post-modernism, the day was first declared by a leader of the Professional Day-Declaring Community.

This intrigued me.  No, scratch that. It pissed me off.

Every bit of evidence I’ve read shows that people with fire-hazard desks are at least as productive as their neat-freak counterparts, if not moreso.

When others confronted him about his famously messy desk, Einstein posed a question: If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is an empty desk a sign of?

If you’re nodding your head in agreement, read on. If you’re rolling your eyes or shuddering in disgust at the thought of clutter …

Brief review. Messy people have a quote from Albert Einstein and an official logo. What do the neat people got?

Wow. You know, the sound of those piles of papers, folders, envelopes and books inter-layered with pens, sticky notes, Legos* and plastic ants† all getting even more comfy on my desk is mighty loud when you don’t have anything to say. Hark! I do believe I can hear that neat Japanese candy wrapper that I saved flexing as the atmospheric pressure in the room changes.

Now that the neat freaks have hurried off to make sure their paper clips are sorted by size, please join me in reciting the ID2BM pledge:

Is someone dicking you around? Is your day filled with petty people tut-tutting you at every turn? Through no fault of your own, do you find yourself marching to someone else’s tune? Strike back against the petty tyrants and oxygen thieves. For one day, let them kiss your sweet, fragrant buttcheeks.

*Because it’s my desk.
† See above.

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