Fart-in-a-box mailer sought by feds

In case you haven’t heard, some dipshit from my neck of the woods has aroused the ire of the FBI, the DHS, the USPS and assorted other humans with weapons and big serious briefcases because he suffers from Road Sign Rage.

The first “incendiary device” was opened around 12:25 p.m. by a mailroom employee, who singed his fingers, in the Jeffrey Building, just steps from the State House in downtown Annapolis. The small white, book-sized package, which was affixed with five holiday-themed stamps and addressed to [Gov. Martin] O’Malley, ignited in a small puff of smoke and smelled of sulfur.

Because shut the signs off, that’s why!

Maryland State Police say the message inside the fiery package sent to Gov. Martin O’Malley said: “Report suspicious activity! Total Bull—-! You have created a self fulfilling prophecy.”

The state’s terrorism tip line is widely shown on overhead highway signs along with information about missing children. To the ire of some drivers, the signs added real-time traffic estimates to major highways in March. Some commuters complained drivers slowed to read the signs and backed up traffic.

Below, what the Maryland Stinkbomber sees when he looks at a Terror Tips Sign:


No word if there was a similar message in the fart-in-a-box which was addressed to Sec. Napolitano and discovered on Friday.

Aside from whole “I’m going to risk serious jail time for the dumbest reason ever,” the most surprising thing about this story is that anyone pays attention to the signs.

They’ve been all over Maryland for several years and I only read them when they’re flashing an Amber Alert. Otherwise, I’m too busy keeping an eye peeled for the fucknuggets who are updating their Facebook status and/or changing into their gym clothes at 90 mph.


1 Comment

Filed under Local Fail, Mental Health, Misguided Self-justification

One response to “Fart-in-a-box mailer sought by feds

  1. B^4

    So, a minor beef with Maryland Highway Patrol has led to a major beef with the F.B.I. The guy’s got to be a ‘bagger.