Monthly Archives: December 2010

All right, here’s your hot guy taking a shower

I’ve received a lot of search hits for variations on the theme of  “hot guy[s] in a shower.” To make up for my previous failure to supply a visual representation of a hot guy in a shower, my New Year’s Day gift to you is below the break.




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Filed under A break from the fail, Lazy Latte Sipping Islahomo

If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again

The Doughy Pantload (AKA Jonah Goldberg), on equal marriage rights, Take 2:

But all I can say in my defense is that I think I’m right about the inevitability of gay marriage or at least very strong civil unions (which would ultimately lead to gay marriage, anyway). [Bzzzt! The correct answer is: All I can say in my defense is I’ll shut up and never seek to communicate with another human being for the rest of my miserable life – ed.]

I don’t take this position because I’m dodging, or caving, or playing games of some kind [Butcha aaare, ya aaare in the chair, Blanche! – ed]. I just happen to think it’s true (barring some scientific developments down the road).

Yup. According to the Loathesome Doughfucker, unspecified “scientific developments” could stop the inevitable spread of equal marriage rights in this country.

Those of us who know a teeny bit about events both past and current tend to reach for the trusty blunderbuss we hear this kind of talk. It makes us nervous.

However, those of us who know jackshit about anything are free to blithely claim that gays were the best friends a Nazi ever had ergo liberals are fascists but maybe a scientific development or two will set things right, which is (of course) central to the point.

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Filed under =MR, Republicans and other Perverts, WW4F

Sometimes ya just gotta

The Class of 2003

The determination and

the promise

came full circle.

Welcome to history.

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Filed under Lazy Latte Sipping Islahomo

Obama took my penis!

Pass it on.

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Filed under A break from the fail, Lazy Latte Sipping Islahomo

For the firebagger who has nothing because Obama took it all

If you’ve got Firebaggers on your Festivus list you’ve no doubt been wondering what to get them. After all, it isn’t easy to find a gift that says “You’re a politically inert waste of skin who squeals like a pig with its dick caught in a rat trap at little or no provocation. But I really … don’t hate you. All that much.”

Your search is over. After months of studying firebaggers, fauxgressives, nogressvies, regressives and emogressives in their natural habitat, I’m proud to present the FIREBAGGER GIFT BUYING (EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH) GUIDE FOR 2010.

The following 5 gifts will delight the proggy and stop the whining. For a couple of minutes. Maybe:

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Filed under Mental Health, Misguided Self-justification, WATB

Filler du jour

Runner up:

President Barack Obama’s approval ratings have sunk … so low that he’d lose the White House to Republican Mitt Romney if the election were held today,according to a new McClatchy-Marist poll.

This is causing knickersknotitis in some quarters of the Internet  (and I don’t want to think about what it is doing to k-Load’s panties). Fortunately the condition can be cured by entering Mitt Romney in the search bar and/or engaging in a little critical thinking. I’m surprised it made past McClatchy’s editors.

The Winner:

The potential U.S. presidential candidate also planned to stop by cholera-treatment centers.

Seriously? An outlet that writes that about Palin should just write it about everyone:

“Potential U.S. presidential candidate Jarvis Goodyear pleaded not guilty to six charges of public nudity.”

“Potential U.S. presidential candidate Travis Yeardley is excited about his first day of school.”

“Potential U.S. presidential candidate Adorabelle Dearheart died yesterday at the age of 96. She is survived by three children, five grandchildren and one great-grandchild.”


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Filed under WW4F

Tomorrow’s shorters today – At the movies

Because I Love You Phillip Morris is based on the life of Steven Russell, we’ll soon be treated to non-reviews from the fReichtard Primitive Cerebral Ganglia Trust.

I don’t intend to don my HAZMAT suit and wade through the sewers any more than the people who write “Ewww, gross!” 5,000 times intend to see the movie. However, I can still write their shorters without looking. (Take that, Sadly, No!)

Because I’m psychic.

Kidding! fRighties are so predictable it is a wonder they don’t shoot themselves to alleviate a bit of the tedium. This makes figuring out what a fRighty is going to say before his brain cell warms up remarkably easy. Observe:

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Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Lazy Latte Sipping Islahomo