Whilst you conquer more orifices*

Good news! I  should be able to pay off the national debt by the end of 2011.

The fRighties are so excited by the thought of giving beej to make the Baby Muhammad cry that even Glenn Beck is making jokes about the 9/11 attacks (via L, G & $):

GUTFELD: But I have a lot of people that are interested in backing me for this [Despite the fact that they’ll have serious and well established competition in the area – ed.]. And I’m telling you, this is the greatest thing ever, because right now, I contacted the Cordoba House. I wrote them. I e-mailed them. They didn’t respond [Shocking! – ed.]. But I tweeted them and they tweeted me back.

BECK: And what did they say?

GUTFELD: They said, “You are free to open whatever you like. If you won’t consider the sensibilities of Muslims, you are not going to build dialogue.”


GUTFELD: Yes. And you know I love to build dialogue.

BECK: Sure. Especially—you do that at Grind Zeros.

As you know, the site of the 9/11 attack in NYC is the second most sacred place in the world to fRighties. (At #1 – Where ever it is they think George Washington received the holy giant weeping eagle from Jesus). But it is only natural that the thought of sex with a living human being is enough to convince Glenn to stop dry-humping the victims’ corpses.

To be semi-serious for a moment†, check out this exchange between champion of gay Muslims Gutfeld and champion of on-air wanking, Beck:

GUTFELD: Or Ji-Hunk. How about Infidelicious? Or Turban Cowboy?

BECK: Yes.

GUTFELD: You like Turban Cowboy?

BECK: My favorite?


BECK: Suspicious Packages.

GUTFELD: Yes. That’s a nice one.

Because when creating a business aimed at gay Muslims, the smart businessman makes sure to remind his customers that they’re all scary, murderous, outsiders, no matter who they love!

*Thank you Ms. Ballion.

†Although I am going to be really rich. If I don’t get arrested.

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