Grizzly Deeds, Womanly Words*

Dear Alaska,

Sometimes your ex-governor gets on my balls. Then she makes me laugh and I stop hating you (via WaPo):

Brian Murphy, a little-known Republican candidate for Maryland governor, unexpectedly won an endorsement Wednesday from one of the biggest names in national politics: Sarah Palin. [Biggest names? It would be biggest joke if you assholes would stop treating her like she’s more than a two-legged collection plate for Sarah Palin Charities, Inc. – ed]

Here in Maryland, we’re a diverse bunch. Even our most infamous modern-day fReichtard in an African-American.

We do not make a habit of electing complete frothing psychos to office [Looks at Texas]. When we do elect Republicans we tend to elect guys like Wayne Gilchrest, an early victim of the GOP’s shift from a quasi-functional party to a bunch of lunatics writing conspiracy theories on the wall with their own shit. And to be perfectly fair, Ehrlich is no Rick Perry. Or Sarah Palin.

All of this is a long winded way of saying, if I were going to make a list of states that are screamingly obvious no-go areas for teabagger candidates, I’d put Maryland at #1. (D.C. isn’t a state.) I know this, anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows this. Palin … Well. She’s dense as a block of government issue cheese, slightly less intelligent and a tap-dancing attention addict to boot, isn’t she?

Palin’s decision to side with Murphy over former governor Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. (R) in September’s GOP primary prompted plenty of head-scratching in Maryland political circles. But it remained unclear what impact the endorsement might have in a state where the “tea party” movement has not packed nearly as much punch as elsewhere. [“Head scratching” is Neo-Con fearing reporter speak for great BWAHAHAs of laughter – ed.]

The teabaggers haven’t packed a punch (or a flailing slap) in Maryland, because we’re not crazy. And I’m not sure Mr. Murphy is crazy enough. The only thing I see on his issues page that isn’t boilerplate GOPese is his desire to start homes for unwed mothers.

OK, maybe that is crazy enough.

Or maybe Palin is just jealous of ex-governor Ehrlich because she’s the only goshdurn ex-governor anyone should pay attention to also.

Ah, you’re right. She’s got the political acumen of a stunned pigeon and has come to associate flapping her yapper with a rain of $$$,  God bless her. She just made the GOP goobernatorial race interesting.

Maybe she’ll visit!

*Our quasi-official motto is Manly Deeds, Womanly Words. So I thought … Well it needs work. And no, I’m not making it up about the motto.


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