From the Chambre de Rumper:
Comment by Lawnguylander on 12/05/09 at 08:52 AM
What I didn’t realize when this story began to spread through the Internons was that it came to us courtesy of a not at all well man named Tedd Petruna. Apparently he snapped because people would not stop making jokes about Chicken of the Sea. To his credit, he didn’t shoot up a shopping mall. Instead, he sent an e-mail to his friends and family claiming that he, along with a “large Texan,” helped throw the scary, porn watching Islamoterrorists off AirTran Air Flight 297.
Skeptics asked the usual egg-head questions you’d expect from LIEberuls. For example: If Petruna was in Business Class, how did he know the scary terrorists at the back of the plane were watching porn?
Because he has a special porn detector. Shut up!
Other pansy girly men were doubtful of his claims that Islamoterrorists are allowed to watch porn before jihad.
Look, everyone knows this! And they all want to fuck our women! Shut up!
Thank God for Debbie Schlushbrain! She knew this story was absolute proof that the people on Flight 297 had come close to death by horny brown devil:
Another Muslim Hijacking Dry Run?: If True, Tedd Petruna’s My New Hero; UPDATE: CONFIRMED
Go get ‘er Tedd. Just don’t try to get there on AirTran Air. They’re a tad miffed with you.
Now, I wasn’t surprised to find the story isn’t true. However, I experienced a moment of WTF when I learned Petruna wasn’t even on the fucking plane. That’s pretty damn reality divorced, even for the fReichtard crowd. Here’s AirTran:
After conducting additional research into this situation, we have verified, according to flight manifests (legally binding documents) that the individual that allegedly created a first-hand account of events on-board AirTran Airways flight 297, a Theodore Petruna, was never actually on-board the flight.
You can read AirTran’s entire press release, including a paragraph-by-paragraph disembowelment of this fucknut’s swarthy brown man and large Texan wrasslin’ fantasy, by clicking on the second link Lawnguylander provided. But I must say to whoever wrote this (emphasis added):
Since the flight and initial media reports, several blogs and Internet sites have recounted the incident as portrayed by a passenger originally scheduled for the flight. Below is that passenger’s account (unedited in any way including spelling and grammar), as reported on several blogs. Highlighted between the passenger’s account, are the factually accurate circumstances surrounding this incident.
Will you marry me?
I’m sure Mr. Petruna has a totally convincing explanation for this. And it involves angels, and a Christmas miracle and special sweater Sarah Palin made from Glenn Beck’s pubes so you know it’s true. In the meantime Tedd, take comfort and joy in the fact that Deb’s standing by you:
It’s no surprise that AirTran, the TSA, and other authorities are circling the wagons and claiming that Petruna’s and, now, Dr. Robinson’s, accounts aren’t true. That’s what they always do. Attack the messenger to block the truth. But I believe Petruna and, now, Robinson. AirTran and the authorities have every motivation to lie. They acted in the best interests of . . .? Well, certainly not their passengers.
Because TSA stands for Terrorists are Special Always. And AirTran does not sound like a family values oriented airline.
p.s. Snopes is in on the plot. Also!
*Alternate title: The one after 297