No really, it’s true!
You might think the The Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act only does this (via the AssPress):
Physical attacks on people based on their sexual orientation will join the list of federal hate crimes in a major expansion of the civil rights-era law Congress approved Thursday and sent to President Barack Obama.
Wrong! According to mental giants such as Jim DeMint (R-Ustoopid?), Tony “Perky” Perkins and the rest of the men who stare at goats, this is the first step on the hot and sweaty road to tastefully dressed and quite attractive Thought Police kicking down your door and dragging you off for [ahem] “re-education” if you even look like you might be thinking gays and lesbians are less than 110% wonderful.
To which I can only respond: You wish.
(Well, I could respond: Fuck you with rusty handsaws sideways, you ugly minded hypocritical bastards. But this is a good day.)
Two seconds of serious:
Best wishes and congratulations to Mrs. Shepard. Matthew, pace.