Monthly Archives: October 2009
So I’m at work and I go outside for a smoke. For no reason whatsoever, the chorus to a song I haven’t heard in 15 years (at least) latched on to my frontal lobes and would not let go.
When I die, I’m going to ask God or Buddha or the FSM or whoever what the fuck is up with earworms† because they seem to serve no purpose whatsoever other than to drive up traffic at YouTube and Pandora.
Here’s one urban myth about them [via Kellaris’ website]:
Some people believe that earworms are a manifestation of one’s subconscious attempting to send a message, or perhaps even the voice of God “trying to tell us something.”
Lessee. Switchin’ to Glide … uh … Switch to Astroglide?
This is one of them. And it’s a damn shame (via The Washington Post):
Spray no match for snake
GAITHERSBURG, Streamside Dr., 18300 block, Oct. 7. A homeowner discovered a large black snake in an apartment and sprayed it with bug spray to encourage it to leave. It didn’t. A Humane Society agent could not find the reptile, which had slithered away. Before the agent left, the resident was informed that bug spray is not an effective deterrent and could harm a snake.
Obaministration initiates Protocols of the Elders of GLBT; Everyone really doomed this time. I mean it.
This is not a good week for our insect bothering friends. Obama’s dastardly plan to make throwing rocks at a gay couple a federal hate crime (which is totally not fair, look you made Tony cry) proceeds apace. At the same time the Department of Health & Human Services is unleashing a plot to send your grandparents to Death Camp and replace them with people who are old and gay! It’s TRUE (via the HHS Website):
HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius today announced plans to establish the nation’s first national resource center to assist communities across the country in their efforts to provide services and supports for older lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals.
Experts estimate that as many as 1.5 to 4 million LGBT individuals are age 60 and older.[That sound you just heard was caused by fReichtards keeling over at the thought of 4 million Barney Franks roaming the world, talking smack and taking no prisoners].
Here’s the thing. The amount of money Sebelius wants to set aside, not has, but wants to if she can get it, amounts to diddly/squat ($250,000). It’s the equivalent of a Hallmark card from the .99 bin. It is a nice gesture. Nothing more. Nothing less.
But once the moth rapists stop screaming about the mean old nasty anti-hate crimes bill (because people who pass anti-hate crime legislation are the real haters), they’ll start up about this. You know the drill: Impassioned gibbering and shrieking against taking care of old people. Warnings that this poses a dire threat to the three C’s: Christianity, Children & Civilization.
Followed by yet another jackass getting caught with his hands down someone’s pants or a “device” down his wetsuit.
No really, it’s true!
You might think the The Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act only does this (via the AssPress):
Physical attacks on people based on their sexual orientation will join the list of federal hate crimes in a major expansion of the civil rights-era law Congress approved Thursday and sent to President Barack Obama.
Wrong! According to mental giants such as Jim DeMint (R-Ustoopid?), Tony “Perky” Perkins and the rest of the men who stare at goats, this is the first step on the hot and sweaty road to tastefully dressed and quite attractive Thought Police kicking down your door and dragging you off for [ahem] “re-education” if you even look like you might be thinking gays and lesbians are less than 110% wonderful.
To which I can only respond: You wish.
(Well, I could respond: Fuck you with rusty handsaws sideways, you ugly minded hypocritical bastards. But this is a good day.)
The Obama administration is poised to stop federal agents from enforcing federal law in states that have passed laws that allow people to grow, sell and use marijuana for medical purposes.
Should be interesting to watch the usual rejects go from accusing Obama of plotting to take over the country to lambasting Obama for honoring state sovereignty.
The air will be thick with the smell of burning rubber, so if you have asthma, keep your inhaler close at hand.
A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.
It is my experience that minor public officials caught publicly flouting the law don’t last that long.
“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”
Jesus Christ, just fire this sorry bastard already.
[Kinda sort xp Rumproast]