Remember the Alamo! – Update II

Say, it’s been a while since the TalEvangicals were caught doing something more disgusting than their usual bullshit.

Ugg, sorry I brought it up (via the AssPress):

FOUKE, Ark. – FBI agents and state police raided an evangelist’s headquarters Saturday as part of a child pornography investigation, and social workers interviewed children who live at the complex in southwestern Arkansas to find out whether they were abused.

I for one hope these allegations are not true. Reading about child abuse makes me want to acquire an assault weapon or six and blow the assholes straight to Hell. Hopefully they’ll just find a lot of wet suits, butt plugs and life sized, anatomically correct inflatable Jesus dolls around the place.

In a phone call to The Associated Press from a friend’s house in the Los Angeles area, Tony Alamo — who was once accused of child abuse and has been convicted of tax evasion — denied involvement in pornography.

“We don’t go into pornography; nobody in the church is into that,” Alamo said “Where do these allegations stem from? The anti-Christ government. The Catholics don’t like me because I have cut their congregation in half. They hate true Christianity.”

Shame on me for doubting this upright, honest and not at all deranged or creepy as all Hell citizen.

Holy Fouke. Anyone who allowed this creature within twenty yards of their children or pets needs a smack upside the head.

Wow. This piece of work goes through aliases like he goes through wives. Family Values™, bitches!


Dear God, I know You operate in Your own mysterious way. But if you want to restore a lot of people’s faith in You all at once, start by dropping a piano on this shit bastard’s head (via the AssPress):

Alamo claimed in a telephone interview with The Associated Press on Saturday that the investigation was part of a federal push to legalize same-sex marriage while outlawing polygamy. He also said for girls having sex, “consent is puberty.”

If you could make it one of Elton John’s pianos, that would be extra excellent. Amen.

Update II:

Christ, just throw his ass in jail for a few days and let the rules of prison do their work (via the AssPress):

…Alamo faces charges he transported children across state lines for sexual activities, in violation of the Mann Act. And so once again, the one-time rock promoter and street preacher that former President Clinton likened to “Roy Orbison on speed” will return to federal court.

Hey, the U.S. has locked up hundreds of guys for years just because they happened to have a certain last name or their neighbors wanted a reward. Surely it must be all right to lock up a filthy bastard who is accused of hurting kids without a trial. He can pray to his god to protect him from the other prisoners.


1 Comment

Filed under Church of the Poisoned Mind, Misguided Self-justification

One response to “Remember the Alamo! – Update II

  1. I bet he would not last long with a La Mara Salvatrucha homie.