Don’t Panic!

Now please, there’s no reason to get upset about this. Go back to worrying about all the terrorists who want to rape your dog (via The Washington Post):

The 28 branches of 1st National Bank of Nevada and First Heritage Bank, operating in Nevada, Arizona and California, were closed Friday by federal regulators.

The banks, owned by Scottsdale, Ariz.-based First National Bank Holding Co., were scheduled to reopen on Monday as Mutual of Omaha Bank branches, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. said.

Really. They just did it because they know nothing lifts the gloom of a recession like a little surprise when you go to the bank. I mean, everything was all rainbows and sparkle ponies only last week:

The collapse of IndyMac Bank caused some sweaty palms in executive suites around the nation, including at First National Bank.

The Scottsdale financial institution, itself rumored to be in trouble, has added staff at local offices in recent days to answer questions from worried depositors and even arranged to have additional cash on hand.

But it proved a false alarm.

No. That is what we call a WARNING SHOT. But thank God for liars or people would have panicked and panic is only appropriate when Michael Chertoff has the runs. Take it away James:

[James Claffee, the company’s new president and chief executive officer] acknowledged that First National Bank has been the target of worrisome rumors. He also noted that regulators from several entities – among them the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. and the Federal Reserve – are in regular contact with management and frequently visit the firm’s facilities.

Heh heh. Just because the cops are trooping in and out of here all of the time, it doesn’t mean a thing.

“Regulators have indicated we are undercapitalized compared to where they want us to be,” Claffee said. “We’re working on that.”

Sure you are. Now here’s the sign that it was past time to abandon ship:

“We have been aggressive about recognizing bad loans and taking losses through provisions,” he said. “I think we are turning the corner.”

Holy Shit, he’s using bAdminese. Run. Run!!

Back to The Post:

Bill Uffelman of the Nevada Bankers Association said Friday the FDIC action “is a reflection of the times for the banks. It’s a poor economy.”

Uffelman cautioned against the sort of consumer concern that prompted many customers of IndyMac Bank branches to wait for hours in line to withdraw funds across Southern California last week after that bank was seized by federal regulators. All FDIC-insured bank deposits are guaranteed by the FDIC up to $100,000, he noted.

Please. I understand the official suity types have to say that but they must understand that everyone is asking thinking the thing: If the FDIC can’t deliver on that guarantee, I’m still fucked. Maybe take a second to explain exactly how this will work if a bank goes tits up before you swoop in to the rescue.

Do NOT let the pResident do this.

Im n ur bank. Lookin at ur dollaz$$

But everything was still just peachy on July 23rd!

A time line of the rise and fall of the parent company.

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2 Comments

Filed under Economy, Fail Watch, Federal Reserve

2 responses to “Don’t Panic!

  1. Golly gee indeed. Do you get a bad case of sprained tongue, abusing your cheek like that ?
    You made Opit’s List : under ‘Bushwhackers’

  2. p.s. It’s your fault. I missed Jurassic Pork and tried the link – no go – but found one !
    Oh. You’re on ‘Opit’s Bookmarks on Del.icio.us on the ‘Links’ page. We just met !