Ha, ha not really. But if you listened to BushCo during the past nine hundred and eleven years you might be familiar with this organization called Al Qaeda. These mean nasty ugly villains are the meanest, ugliest, nastiest villains in the world, so according to BushCo we have to give up our rights so they wouldn’t leap up our asses and carve out our hearts.
Well, you can relax. It turns out they’re really not that big a deal (via … God help me but this is the only place I can find it … FauxSnooze):
“Someone described Hezbollah like the A-team of terrorists in terms of capabilities, in terms of range of weapons they have, in terms of internal discipline,” [Secretary of Homeland Security Michael] Chertoff told FOX News. “To be honest, they make Al Qaeda look like a minor league team.
Got it? BushCo is trashing our military, killing and maiming countless people and leaving them without homes or support – to say nothing of what he’s done to the Iraqis – and burning up billions of dollars in Afghanistan and Iraq in an attempt to take out a minor league team.
Do I need to mention the glass-shattering howls of outrage that would be pouring from the Beast of Many Throats and One Brain Cell if a Democrat called AQ a minor league team? Didn’t think so. But apparently AQ is small potatoes in the world of terrorism, Hezbollah is the real deal and if we can’t even sort out AQ then Mikey’s gut must be working on a gas bubble the size of the Capitol Dome whenever he thinks of Hezbollah.
“They have been more disciplined, and they’ve been in some senses more restrained in the kinds of attacks they carry out … in recent years, but that’s not something we can take for granted,” he warned.
Yes, restraint is the new reason we should crap our pants so we’re lubricated enough to slip under the bed. Guys piloting airplanes into buildings? Oh my dear, how terribly enthusiastic. Do pay attention to those restrained chappies.
229 more days of this bullshit. Have a funny picture.