There, there. There is no there there.

BushCo tries to add to its Legacy o’ Fail (via The Washington Post):

The Bush administration is pressing U.N. inspectors to broaden their search for possible secret nuclear facilities in Syria, hinting that Damascus’s nuclear program might be bigger than the single alleged reactor destroyed by Israeli warplanes last year.

Hey there BushCo fucktards! A novel idea for ya: Find the God damned Weapons of Mass Smoking Mushroom Clouds in Iraq before you start wringing your paws over Syria.

At least three sites have been identified by U.S. officials [Who got their bulletproof information from graffiti in Union Station’s mens’ room – ed.] and passed along [On the back of cocktail napkins – ed.] to the International Atomic Energy Agency [Who rolled their eyes and used them to wipe their asses – ed.], which is negotiating [¿¡ZOMG negotiations!? ¡¿Isn’t that like appeasement?!? – ed.] with Syria for permission to conduct inspections in the country, according to U.S. government officials and Western diplomats. U.S. officials want to know if the suspect sites may have been support facilities for the alleged Al Kibar reactor destroyed in an Israeli air raid Sept. 6, the sources said.

And if they are, why, that will prove that BushCo’s attempt to spread the ponies of democracy and reign* in rouge nations in the M.E. has been a complete and utter F-A-I-L-U-R-E.

Sure, you and I know that Syria might or might not want nukes but if BushCo insists that Syria is in fact 100% slam-dunk certain working on nukes then it makes for a particularly fine Dick-in-Hand moment. Nothing says Suck My Balls quite like whipping up some nukes while the army of your sworn enemy is right next door.

U.S. government officials declined to describe the specific sites that have drawn interest, or to discuss how they were identified.

[CIA Director Michael V. Hayden] predicted that Syria would “almost certainly attempt to delay and deceive” the IAEA [And it will work so far as we’re concerned because someone done busted our military -ed]. But he added: “We know what they did [Last Summer – ed.].”

And it will go down on their permanent record. Please God at least let these shithouse rats realize how bloody stupid they sound.

The absence of a clear fuel source for the reactor — as well as a fuel-reprocessing facility for extracting plutonium — has baffled experts who have studied the Syrian project. “It’s like having a car but not enough gas to run it,” said David Albright, a former U.N. nuclear inspector in Iraq and the president of the Institute for Science and International Security.

There is no money in my wallet. But I have a wallet. So like … I must have some money. Grooovy.

But at least he gets points for unintentional snark about the price of gas.

But weapons experts also noted that Western intelligence has had a mixed record on the reliability of leads provided to U.N. inspectors. “U.S. intelligence has had a serious credibility problem on weapons of mass destruction for a decade,” said John Pike [Who deserves a small prize for finely crafted understatement -ed.] of GlobalSecurity.org, adding that “they have been known to be right on occasions.”

Like that time. When … Um. Well, they knew North Korea had a nuke. After they blew it up.

236 more days of this bullshit.

*Heh!

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