Naked Lunch

Oookay. We know that HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson needs a replacement. Leave it to the Chimperor to pick a guy who lives on roach spray/bleach cocktails (via The Washington Post):

President Bush yesterday named Steven C. Preston as his new secretary of Housing and Urban Development, installing a well-regarded corporate and government administrator — yet one with little experience in housing issues [Wow, there’s a surprise! -ed.] — as his point person in dealing with the consequences of the subprime mortgage meltdown.

He came to government from a career in the private sector, most recently as executive vice president of ServiceMaster [Insert Jeff Gannon joke here – ed.], the large home-cleaning and pest-control company.

Gaaah! What the fuck? Did Gollum and Frodo Baggins have a child?

In explaining the appointment, Bush singled out Preston’s work in managing loan guarantee programs at the SBA, which he likened to the work he will be doing at HUD if he is confirmed by the Senate. He cited Preston’s success in clearing a lengthy backlog of loans for businesses devastated by the hurricane in the Gulf Coast.

Businesses, homes, horses, disasters. Same difference right?

Look, I’m not saying this guy sucks the dead dog’s dick. But the fact that bAdmin. favors people who do indeed suck the dead dog’s dick (provided they also hate gheys and Roe v. Wade) greatly increases the chance that Preston does suck the dead dog’s dick.* But if you asked me to prove he sucks the dead dog’s dick, I’d have to shrug and say … What about this (via The New York Times):

The House Small Business Committee has asked for an investigation into how a newly retired Bush administration appointee with no experience in helping small businesses compete for government contracts received money from the Small Business Administration to do exactly that.

The $1.2 million contract — 90 percent of the agency’s budget to provide advice and training to small disadvantaged businesses or businesses operating in high unemployment areas — went to the VBP Group, a company based in Paradise Valley, Ariz.

And who owns VBP Group, you ask?

The company’s owner, Vernon B. Parker, served as assistant secretary for civil rights in the Agriculture Department from April 2003 to January 2006. The post was created by Congress to help address the department’s historic discrimination against black farmers. A month after Mr. Parker, a former church pastor who is also a lawyer and a civil rights consultant, left the Agriculture Department, he founded the VBP Group.

Certification by the S.B.A. to run one of its programs typically takes two years, unless the owner has prior experience in the area and receives a waiver. The VBP Group was four months old when it was certified.

Care to comment Mr. Preston?

“Based in the information provided by your staff, and some research conducted by my staff, I believe there is sufficient cause for concern over the events surrounding this contractor,” Mr. Preston wrote to Nydia Velázquez, Democrat of New York and chairwoman of the committee.

Maybe it’s because I’m a latte slurping Islahomo. Maybe it’s because I’m not rich enough to qualify for a bailout whenever I run into financial difficulties. But for some reason I’m struggling to believe that no one at S.B.A. noticed that 90% of a budget went to one person and that one person was not qualified to receive the loot.

And that person just happened to be a Pal o PotUSes Bush I & II.

Ms. Velázquez said in an e-mail message on Friday that the S.B.A. has long argued that it has had to cut programs because “the agency just didn’t have the funds.”

She added: “It seems they only have money for Republican cronies.”

Of course, you silly!

*While wearing a wetsuit.

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