F.A.A.I.L.

On 7 March SouthWest Airlines got a $10 million smacked ass for skipping those bothersome safety inspections. On 3 April we learned that Federal Aviation Administration inspectors that commit the unthinkable sin of actually doing their jobs a treated to the Lefty n’ Knuckles routine (via USA Toady):

Douglas Peters, one of the two whistle-blowers who first brought allegations forward, choked up during his testimony recounting how a supervisor issued a veiled threat last year while holding family photos he kept in his office. Peters was preparing to document his concerns about the office, he told the manager.

“You have a good job here and your wife has a good job (at another FAA office),” Peters said the manager told him, holding a photo. “I’d hate to see you jeopardize your and her careers trying to take down a couple of losers.”

But all of a sudden senior officials at the F.A.A. remembered that their job is to keep planes from falling out of the sky even if they do plan to blame it on the terrists. The result, needed inspections were conducted without any disruption to flight service. And a flock of paisley pigs just flew out of the cat’s ass (via The Washington Post):

American Airlines canceled more than 1,000 flights yesterday, stranding tens of thousands of passengers as the carrier’s mechanics scrambled to reinspect wire bundles on jets grounded as recently as two weeks ago for similar checks.

In recent weeks, several other carriers grounded planes to conduct inspections. United Airlines grounded its fleet of wide-body Boeing 777s to test fire extinguishing systems in their cargo holds. And Southwest grounded 38 planes to make up for missed checks of cracks near windows.

On March 27, American and Delta grounded hundreds of MD-80s, MD-88s and MD-90s to conduct checks of the wiring bundles, located in the plane’s right wheel wells and connected to auxiliary hydraulic pumps.

All that’s missing from this clusterfuck is a bail out for the airlines that were affected by events that no one could have possibly foreseen. But it’s only Wednesday.

[For relief from The Fail: Burning Airlines]

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