Protecting the Chimperor’s banana supply (286)

Monkey don’t get banana, monkey get angry. Monkey start another war! Must. Obey. The monkey (via The Washington Post):

This agreement will advance America’s national security interests in a critical region.

And:

The need for this agreement is too urgent, the stakes for our national security are too high to allow this year to end without a vote.

And:

Approving this agreement is urgent for our national security reasons.

Hey! Don’t forget to rattle that old sabre at Chavez – Oh, never mind.

Colombia also faces a hostile and anti-American regime in Venezuela, which has met with FARC terrorist leaders and deployed troops to the Colombian border as a means of intimidating the Colombian government and its people.

Maybe you should get another whackjob to back up your bullshit – Oh, never mind.

The Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper, has said, if the U.S. turns its back on its friends in Colombia, this will set back our cause far more than any Latin American dictator could hope to achieve.

Dear Columbians, Look out, I think he’s about to invade your asses (and not in a good way):

The stakes are high in South America. By acting at this critical moment, we can show a watching world that America will honor its commitments, we can provide a powerful rebuke to dictators and demagogues in our backyard, we can expand U.S. exports and export- related jobs, we can show millions across the hemisphere that democracy and free enterprise lead to a better life.

Did I say bananas? I meant coke.

Res ipsa loquitur

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