Daily Archives: April 1, 2008

Fuck Yoo

Can we pass a law that prohibits pants staining cowards from holding any sort of elected or appointed position in our government? (Via The Washington Post):

“If a government defendant were to harm an enemy combatant during an interrogation in a manner that might arguably violate a criminal prohibition, he would be doing so in order to prevent further attacks on the United States by the al Qaeda terrorist network,” [John C. Yoo, former deputy in the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel and over sized bed-wetter] wrote in the memo. “In that case, we believe that he could argue that the executive branch’s constitutional authority to protect the nation from attack justified his actions.”

Interrogators who harmed a prisoner also would be protected by a “national and international version of the right to self-defense,” Yoo wrote.

So, if I believe some knobgobbling lackey is aiding and abetting in the destruction of this country’s founding principles, I get to crush his testicles under the doctrine of national self-defense, right Johnny? Of course, you’re safe because you don’t have any.

I should note that this memo is available due to some non-fail:

The newly released memo was sent by the Justice Department late today to lawmakers on Capitol Hill, who have long pushed for its declassification.


“And so then, Satan says to me … “


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Filed under Misguided Self-justification, The War Against Terror


Yesterday Wank Paulson revealed his plan to make everything perfect forever. Not really his plan, the White House’s plan. And not perfect for everyone. The offer of perfection is only available to those inhabiting the upper 1%.

Already angry calls of bullshit and shenanigans ring around our Nation’s capital (via The Washington Post):

What in the world is going on here? [We’re being fucked over. Again. – ed]Why is Washington spending billions to bail out Wall Street titans while leaving struggling homeowners to fend for themselves? [Wall Street Tits, Rich; Homeowners, Poor. Duh. – ed.] Why are the Federal Reserve and the Treasury acting as if they’re afraid the world may come to an end, while the stock market seems much less concerned? And finally, what does all this mean to those of us who aren’t financial professionals? [Hooray, we’re fucked! Again! – ed.]

Today we learned that the totally absolutely cross my heart and hope to die really not a bailout and anyway it won’t come back and screw the taxpayer like a cheap whore “rescue” of Bear-Stearns is, in fact, a bailout and will, in fact screw the tax payer like a cheap whore (via: Calculated Risk, h/t BJ).

And don’t expect the Fed to call us a taxi.

And today we also learned that the SEC, which kinda sorta could have done something to head off this train-wreck fails at keeping track of its own money (via the G.A.O.):

Our November 16, 2007, report concluded that SEC had a material weakness in internal control over its financial reporting process, and therefore did not maintain effective internal control over financial reporting as of September 30, 2007.

I’m closing out my 401k and keeping all of my money in the mattress.

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Filed under Economy, Fail Watch, Federal Reserve, Greed