Two in the brainpan (296)

The most difficult thing about documenting the last days of bAdmin. isn’t keeping up with the deluge of Fail. The most difficult part is being forced to think about and even look at the Creature from Crawford (via Ron Edmonds – AP):

R. Edmonds (AP)
L: Australian P.M. Rudd. R: Chimperor Codpiece.

Oh. How I suffer for my art. But Rudd’s probably thinking the same thing and I’ve never had to shake hands with President Codlings, so I’ll stop whining and get on with it.

The pResident has finally noticed that promising the subjects a few hundred bucks hasn’t caused them to go out and spend their money on gewgaws and folderols or whatever it is the servants buy. At last one of his lackeys managed to convey the idea (probably with some sort of book with lots of bright pictures) that the peasants aren’t shopping because they have no money.

I’m sure this came as a great shock to The Chimperor. The concept of no money probably sent him into the bottle for the rest of the day, but when he crawled out he deciderated that he would take matters into his hands and reassure the good people of Bushistan (via The Washington Post):

Bush said in his Saturday radio address that the checks, as well as incentives for businesses to invest in new equipment, will give the economy a “shot in the arm.”

As opposed to the pounding in the ass he’s given the economy for the past seven years. Thank God he burped his latest chorus of “Don’t worry, be happy” on a Saturday because every time the goober opens his gob on a weekday the Market hits the fainting couch.

But here’s one reason you’re unlikely to find the malls filled with eager shoppers this weekend: “Up to $600” isn’t a lot of money, even for the proles, especially when oil is so expensive and you’re already behind on a mortgage payment. Or two. I don’t know how the lackeys will get that concept across to the Infant King. Didn’t his Mummy tell him that the proles don’t “have much” and are perfectly happy on cots in the middle of a football field? He’ll probably think they’re calling Iron Babs a liar and throw his solid gold rattle at them.

But to make things worse, he just scared the shit out of every struggling homeowner in America:

Trying to allay rising fears about the direction of the economy, Bush said his administration has taken action to help homeowners keep their homes.

If your home is worth more than $2 million, you’ll be fine.

Everyone else is fucked.

Heh.

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