It’s getting so you need a scorecard to tell the Jihadists from the Teahadists

ReaLAMErican Mike pHuckabee knows what’s best for America. And what’s best for America involves members of the Jesus Jihad forcing you to listen to some other lying hack [via Alternet]:

“I almost wish that there would be, like, a simultaneous telecast, and all Americans would be forced–forced at gunpoint no less–to listen to every David Barton message, and I think our country would be better for it. I wish it’d happen.”

David Barton is the leading promoter of a brand of falsified American history altered to support the claim that America was founded as a Christian, rather than a secular, nation.

Um. Yeah.

Why the hell does anyone worry about foreign religious extremists? Our domestic brand is festering quite nicely.

Video courtesy of People for the American Way’s Kyle Mantyla, who captured the footage before those remarks were cut from the recording.

May he have the pleasure of hearing pHuckabee snarl “I would have gotten away with it; if it weren’t for that meddling kid!”

Pawlenty of Nothin’*

Breaking [via J.M.G.]:

Former Gov. Bridge to Nowhere Bottom of the Mississippi is going to run for PotUS.

He even has a new nickname to make him seem hip and also down:

T-Paw.

I swear! Fine, see for yourself.

No news yet on whether Palin has stared telling people to call her S-Pan.

*Must credit J.M.G. commenter Tallulah.

What They Do* [Updated]

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless ex-running mate who is duller than a box of hair [via J.M.G.]:

After her speech, Palin sat down for a Q and A session with India Today Editor-in-Chief and Session Chairman Aroon Purie, during which she blamed McCain for losing 2008, among other mildly amusing indications that she is running for President in 2012. When asked why she lost 2008, Palin snapped, “I wasn’t the top of the ticket!”

Mr. Purie didn’t know he was speaking to Shebilly Who Must Be Obeyed. Hilarity Ensued. Also:

Purie asks her what she would do with India in regards to Pakistan. “We can’t go back to that hyphenated days of, no we need to and can work together in working with Pakistan, and we have our issues there, too, and in a sense we do, but we need to work with Pakistan, but that’s one of those issues that we need to work on, as we strengthen our allies, there…”

Bwahahaha! Thanks Sen. McCain!

*For the groove impaired.

Must be something in the mascara

Pam Geller, extruder of the blog  “Atlas Shrugged Because He Was Trying To Shake The EVIL MOOSLIMS Off The Planet Because They Want TO KILL US AND RAPE US AND MAKE US WORSHIP SHARIAAAAH!!1″ and noted drag queen impersonator has achieved her life-long dream:

She is now the owner of a fully functioning M1 Abrams tank.

Just kidding!

You can come out now.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled her a bona fide hate group. I assume the group status (as opposed to Lone Shrieking Loon) is based on the number of voices in her head. (Last count: 18 million strong!)

Geller’s response was, as always, 100% reality based [via J.M.G.]:

My group is a human rights group.

Ha, ha! Fooled you again.

Sarah Palin can see 50 from her front yard!

At Rumproast, ms yafb notes that while we were riveted by the frivolous and unimportant goings on in Egypt, we failed to acknowledge an event that was 10,000 times more important. Sarah Palin – The Most Extraordinary Person in the Entire Universe – turned 47 years old.

To make up for this deplorable lapse in manners, I humbly present this Birthday Blingee to the President of the United States of Facebook.

Happy Birthday Sarah!